Thoughts
by AutumnGoose
Summary: He is confused about his feelings ... I do not own Naruto... sob...and there maybe character's death ... but, on second thought, no, I love them all and more people also love them... so no one is gonna die ... XD! Read&Review please !
1. Chapter 1

His relationship with his cousin had become better.

It was not like they were as close as siblings or heart to heart friends, it was just that they'd simply come to terms with each other presences as relatives in their lives. They were normal parts of each other's life.

Gradually, their existence had became something just as familiar to them as the routine or their habitual actions everyday, but, still, not so many words were exchanged.

Yet, this relationship turned out to be so familiar that without it there would be a hole deep inside and couldn't be filled. The hole itself was not too big, at least that was what he'd convinced himself, but it gave him disturbing feelings that was hard to ignore, a confusing undescribable little "pain", making him ask himself times to times whenever he passed her door just to realise that she wasn't there……

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It seemed like a habitual actions to Neji Hyuga to walk on the same road whenever he didn't have to go on a mission. He'd been doing it for more than a year now.

The shop keeper at the flower shop, without asking, just took the same kind of flower for the young shinobi whenever he the drop by.

With the lavenders in his hand, he walked towards his destination.

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She'd got stronger. She'd grown up into a decent young lady, decent but not weak. After all she was a shinobi.

Having spent years trying her best to improve herself, she made it to jounin with all her noticable growing confidence, and all of a sudden, he noticed that her always-blush and anxiousness had long gone, and it was her stammer's disapearance that surprised him the most. In important events, such as Hyuga's meeting between the Main House and Branch House or when taking serious talk with her father, she had learned to sit up straight and speak like a true future heiress - no stuttering, no poking fingers or any of her childish habit she used to have. She might not be as brilliant as him, but she had proved herself worth the position.

However, when talking to her sister or friends … or him …, when she could relax, she just came back to a delicate women : a little blush, sometimes a little stammer, but just like to remind her of her normal personality apart from the shinobi life. It was the time that she turned back to his soft and a little bit timid cousin which, somehow, reflecting her childhood character he'd seen the first time they met….

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People there saw the same not-so-talkative and polite young man from the Hyuga went into the same room, putting the same lavenders he bought into a same pot next to the female patient's bed so often now they just put in their mind the thought that they had known him and his cousin very well.

They just gave him a simple greeting when passing by, and left him sitting beside Hinata Hyuga's unconsious figure quietly for hours.

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He couldn't denied the fact that he enjoy their occasional time together, mostly silent but comfortable, usually with some tea in the manor, looking at the garden.

He remembered how the wind sofly brought the scent of lavender into their little peaceful and quiet space. The air was cool and he felt calm, but at the same time, there was something cozzy inside, which, at fist, he thought that was merely because of the hot steamy tea in his cup.

However, as time went by, he realised that it was the gentle person who poured the hot steamy tea into his cup that cause him the pleasant feelings … but now, the painful feelings.

She went on a mission, … and later come back being carried by her teamates…

How he remembered the first time feeling a shiver down his spine when seeing blood from another person, after many bloody battle he had fought in his early life as a powerful warrior, a genius, one of the most talented shinobi that everybody had to amit. It was very weird of him to feel that way

He was her protector. It was his duty to keep her safe. He had to stand by her in good times or bad.

Although he knew very well that being two independent shinobi, they had separate missions and having to fight separately was inevitable, he couldn't keep thinking that he was responsible for her current state, feeling the pain and the biterness … and he couldn't help feeling a little shiver when it came to the though of her gone forever.

The responsibility was reasonable, but the shiver and, again, another feeling that he couldn't define was still a question.

But … was it just his confusion about the feelings or was it him refusing to admit them…?

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Everytime the male Hyuga come, he just sat there, looking at the pale face of his cousin or out of the window.

In the white clean room, his ivory eyes just matched the scene.

At first, there was something confusing in those eyes, making the white eyes seem blue. But in times he came and saw her, those eyes just became more and more limpid.

It's seemed that the young man was clear about whatever was messing with his mind before. Then, occasionally, he whispered something just enough for his cousin to hear.

The scene was somewhat made others thought that it's … "lovely" … but also feel sorry for the two of them.

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The thoughts haunted him days by days.

He looked for the answer, but it wasn't easy.

However, as a shinobi he also had lots of missions and duties to the Hyuga. He must not let anything bother him other than his tasks.

He must end these nonsense.

In the end, he decided to end it… with only one statement: he had to see her, to speak to her just like the time they'd shared, and all the troublesome thoughts would vanish… yes, he accept the fact that he missed their not so often little conversations, her soft and easing voice, and most of all, her beautiful smile .

If only she could hear and respond to him with that beautiful smile again …

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The doctor could tell that Hiashi Hyuga had had a difficult time receiving the news that he'd required to know.

His daughter, Hinata Hyuga, was getting even worse and there was nothing else they could do for her. She only had about a week left

She was dying.

Hiashi had informed his nephew…

However, Neji just kept coming to her with the lavenders, whispering things no one knew to her …as usual…

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… and maybe he would kept doing that till the end of time, no matter where or how she was going to be …

Do you think I should just let the story end like this? Or make it a happy ending ?

This is my first fanfic …. So please read and review !!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Note**: This chapter is base on the plot that **Natopherol** gave me, so this actually is written by me and **Natopherol .**

Thank you, Natopherol.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (agh!!!!!)

…..

She always had love for flowers.

They were always so fragant and pretty, dancing merrily and gracefully with the wind under the warm of the sunshine.

She especially loved lavender, because it was her mother's favorite kind and that she said the flower resemble her beautiful daughter perfectly with the most gentle and wonderful smile on the whole world that she'd ever seen.The smile that never faded no matter how hard things can be.

Actually, she believed that her mother is the real lavender-fairy giving her the happiest, but the shortest, time in her life. She died only a few minutes after giving birth to her little sister, still with that glamorous smile, engraving into the young girl's mind the image of her mother who was not only wonderful but also the bravest woman…

She'd always tried to be like her

…

As somewhere, far …but near, a flower field caught her eyes, the thoughts slowly trailed through her mind and she found herself standing at … nowhere. Oddly, the strange place didn't seem to bother her. She was calm, more than ever. Yet she couldn't figure out how and why she was here …

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The three shinobi received a request to acconmpany some famous guests coming to Konoha for business.

The mission turned out to be more complicated than expected.

It turned out to be that some of the businessmen weren't just normal famous businessmen. They'd involved in a quite serious dispute between the Water country and the Wind country. In fact, Konoha, the Hidden Leaf Village have nothing to do with this but, technically, the three ninjas were in charge of these men's safety, and at that time, they weren't quite sure about the dispute so they couldn't let others have the businessmen. Battles were inevitable.

They managed to bring these men back to Konoha, but of course, not as safe and sound as it should have been.

Especially with Hinata Hyuga, one of the three ninjas sent for the mission.

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She couldn't help felt extremly happy when she saw the flowery field and her mother standing a little far into the beautiful place, again, with the smile that she had desperately wanted to see for so long.

Like any daughters longing for her mother, she ran towards the place as fast as she can. It was the only thing on her mind now because, at last, she was able to get what she'd always wanted: the peace in her soul and the person that she'd loved and missed the most ever since she was young, ever since forever…

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Day by day, the Hyuga female shinobi laid unconsiously in the hospital, as the Hyuga male shinobi came to her day by day.

Everybody knew that, but did Hinata know that ?

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She wanted to wash away every of her harsh life in the fragant place, in her mother's arms

She wanted to forget everything

……..

but she remembered something, she missed it badly right now. Strange ! she'd never missed anything like that apart from her mother. What is it ?

…..

Thought

…..

What …?

…

'_what are you thinking sweatheart?'_

'_I don't really know, mother'_

'_hm…'_ smile …

Lavender smile?

Different…

Different from _that_ Lavender smell …

' _Hinata-sama…'_ A deep and warm voice? …

'_the lavenders in your garden has bloomed…'_ Oh yes, she remembered her garden, she'd taken care of it for many years, she loved sitting there, breathing that lavender smell in air after missions or meetings with the Elder in the clan …

'_but they're not in good condition … cause you're not there to take care of them …'_ She blinked, she'd gone really far from her house, hadn't she ? _'…so I just bought some from the shop to bring here for you…' _She wondered … who could that be ?

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Neji Hyuga continued coming to room 707 for a certain patient, everytime with some lavenders. But that patient just didn't seem to get any better.

The same room, the same lavender vase, the same bed, the same chair and the same two people, one with close eyes and one with white, and blue eyes, having secret conversations.

It was just like time had frozen for both of them.

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She was laying with her head on her mother's lap, but those words just kept echoing around her, and with every words, she went through a lot of scenes, some she'd known and some she hadn't.

'_sweatheart, do you have something in your mind ?'_

'…'

She told her mother everything had slipped through her mind.

From the mysterious voice, she knew that her childhood crush had now asked his female teamate to marry him. He suceeded.

He'd always had affection on her, giving her the thought that she loved him from the very beginning. However, as she grew up into the leader of her clan, she understood the feeling she had towards him was just some childish thoughts at the time. She did admire him though. Naruto wasn't as strong as many others, he was lonely at first, but he would never gave up on his dream and would never stop trying his best to archieve it. She really admired him because of that.

Now she was happy for him because he'd finally got somebody loving him more than anyone on the whole world, he was no longer lonely.

Both she and her mother were so glad that her little sister had made it to jounin. She always knew that Hanabi was talented, she took after their father a lot, and she could tell that there were only a few people in the same age as Hanabi as good as her…

… And how Shino's new jutsu scared the hell out of those shinobi school girls (Perharps his bug just suddenly burst out of everywhere, mostly from under his skin, before you could notice … ,she gigle, and those girls just found it rather scary). Oh, and Kiba new girlfriend got a "little" jealous with Akamaru .(the dog seemed to get Kiba's attention more than the girl, after all he had been his master's closest friend ever since he was just a little boy, and not to mention, Kiba's comrade in every battle) They'd just had a "little" fight for every people of Konoha to acknowledge the situation. There were even more about TenTen and Lee, Sakura , Ino …

It was like that person wanted her to know everything she was missing.

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Everybody knew that the young progidy from the noble clan valued his words. They were always short but formal and clear. Even with his close friends wouldn't he lengthen the sentences unless it was necessary and, of course, he would never babble about anything.

But lately, he cared about other things a little different from the only things he usually gave attention to, his friend could tell, more like the things that the future heiress of the Hyuga clan would care about _if_ she were there.

… and he talked more, in a low but audible voice, in a certain place, to a certain someone.

"_you're missing a lot of things Hinata-sama…"_

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She had taken back almost all of her memories about her friends, her clan, her folks … and she remembered that voice of somebody, somebody who usually had tea with her, someone who was close to her by now, bringing her mind back to her third birthday "party"…

When she first met her cousin…

Back then she was so shy she couldn't stay in the "party" room. It was a celebration, but she didn't possibly breath easily as there were so many adults in formal yukata and kimono, with greeting on their lips but a rather cold expression on their face, as they came from her only clan, but two different Houses.

She went into the garden, diging a hole to put some flower seeds in as the people were talking things she couldn't understand at that time, and only then she noticed that someone actually knew her action.

A boy, she blush a little, was standing at the opposite corner of the garden, watching her and…

…….

… without saying a word, he smiled, and walked to her side helping her dig up that hole.

That was the fisrt time she saw that smile.

It was different from mother's smile, but it brought her just the same warm feeling, which she never thought she could get the fisrt time she met him.

She actually had wanted to smile back, but she blush more instead. Now, she just smiled unconsiously when the memory came back.

She did enjoy his company.

……

She remembered how she got the disapointed and sad feelings after that day even when the flower had grown very well. Why? Because her cousin would never came back to see how pretty those flowers were.

She had wanted to show him those flowers so much …

…

'_It's time.'_

'_for what, mother?'_

'_to go there …'_ – only when she looked at the direction her mother was pointing to did she know that there was a river far into the flowers field - _'the other side of the river, where I live now, sweetheart'_

'…'

She looked back.

She don't know why she looked back to the foggy place.

….

Maybe she was waiting…

…

…

waiting …

…

…

waiting for that voice to come once again, telling her something…

But it didn't come.

Then, she went to her mother's side …………….

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Neji Hyuga almost rushed to the hospital.

His mission lasted more than expected. It'd been nearly more than a week ever since he started his mission, _and_ the news of his cousin came: she didn't have much time left.

He just came back. Something must have happened, as his Uncle had gone to the hospital earlier.

The nurses felt a little startled when this shinobi passed them.

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He came into the room to see Hinata on the bed, without any machines that had accompanied her for more than a year.

….

….

The nurse that was in charge of Hinata was about to came in when she saw her patient's cousin, if she didn't mistaken, came by Hinata's bed and looked at her face. She didn't saw his expression as she didn't want to went in the middle of his moment. She knew very well who was coming to Hinata Hyuga most of the time, so she decided to go for other things.

….

…

Neji's empty eyes looked at Hinata for so long …

His hand reached out for her pale face…

…

…

touched her

…

could he?

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………

…

"…_N-Neji-niisan,… you've c-come back …"_

"…"

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….

She could feel he'd come back, but she could just showed a weak smile in her quite vague state and went back to her dream. Thus, she couldn't saw his face.

….

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Then Hiashi Hyuga came in, after a talk with the doctor about his daughter's miracle, and met his nephew. He could show enough happiness on his face to Neji as Hinata's getting better…

…

... but somehow no one could clearly see Neji Hyuga's expression at that time.

…

Perharps the lately _normal_ expression had been enough to tell.

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**Finish **oops … better say** the end**

I've made it a happy ending, So I just hope you all like it, especially Natopherol. **Please leave me a review when you drop in **!!! Thanks


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